The age-old quote, “What you seek is seeking you.” echoes in my thoughts as I share this post today – I wish to share with you all a Beautiful Experience of my Life through this article – A Beautiful Relation with my husband was & is all that I seek in Life – little did I knew that this Simple Wish would gift me wonders galore…Come join me and let us together explore one more Precious Connect of Sikhi.
The Path to Guru was never on my mind – This is my Honest Confession – I say so because, though my family believes in God, Sikhism isn’t our religion…The Guru mandir was visited but nothing specific was done to get deeper into the Religious Morals…and thus life continued.
I grew up, and after my studies, marriage happened, as per the norms of our culture, I moved into my new family and life with new family members began – This new junction of my life bought with itself many changes – Some took me by surprise while others made me question the Society norms…Life bought with itself NEW LEARNINGS – A young girl was handed responsibilities but with no manual to follow upon, how can one be efficient and perform well in this NEW ROLE.
Puzzled I was, and yet HOPE was always by my side !
The curious and carefree “ME” was all excited to unravel the missing links – This was made possible because at the core of these learnings was a Secret Desire – I wanted to walk upon a path that would lead me to being an “Admirable Life Partner” and live a Beautiful Life with this New Family.
My desire for the tag of a “Good Wife” was rooted in all the broken relations I had witnessed in my life – I was introduced to some very misleading facts associated with Marriage very early in life – Marriage was termed “Compromise” and “Life partners” merely a way to tick pox the “Marriage” responsibility of Parents … all around me I saw disappointments in the “Husband Wife” relations…and thus Marriage was never on my mind.
Why waste this BEAUTIFUL LIFE on failed concepts of Society ?
But to respect my parents, I had no option but to Marry. Our Indian Society has some words associated with “Good Wife” which happen to be SUNDER, SUSHEEL, SANSKARI – Every family looks for these qualities in a Bride that will be a life partner to their Beloved Son….
Sunder means Beautiful looking Girl, one who has a Good sense of Fashion – She is like a Trophy that is liked by all and above all, her BEAUTY guarantees Beautiful Grandchildren.
Susheel means a Girl who is well versed with House work, can cook Good Food, keep a house clean and entertain guests and above all be a Good Mother.
Sanskari means that the Girl should be religious and follow traditions, respect the elders perspective of LIFE and never ever raise her voice. She must accept everything that the new family members have to say and also be cordial and loving to all.
I thought to myself – If I could work upon the above THREE parameters of a BRIDE, maybe I could make a Difference in how the future generations viewed “Marriage” – With these thoughts, I made myself READY for a NEW STUDY of LIFE.
To be a witness to Broken Relations often fills us with FEAR – But I was not willing to let FEAR guide me and so I made a secret desire to God to Gift me an opportunity to Change the Perspectives of Society – The WANT to erase the Connect between Marriage & Compromise was the Mission I set myself upon.
The words “Husband” & “Wife” always caught my attention and I found myself studying more about these interlaced relations…Family Connects were recognized and New trails were explored by me – Life taught me in unique ways – Beautiful souls came along, guiding me at each step on the ways to be a “Good wife” – God sent me souls who helped me polish my skills of Cooking and Caring…and it was along this STUDY PATH, where I was Blessed in the most unique way ❤
Life learning directed towards being an Excellent Life Partner got further enhanced when I visited the Gurudwara … My visits to the Gurdwara were a turning point in my life – Every visit gifted me a New Understating of LIFE – My learnings got interlaced with Gurbani – The Sri Guru Granth Sahib (SGGS) – The Sikh Scripture became my Teacher in those trails – Wondering how?
Here’s the CONNECT ❤
Whenever I would go to the Gurudwara, I would read the Shabads on the wide TV Screens as the Kirtan ( Devotional Singing) continued – Call it a coincidence or Guru’s way of directing me – All the translations of these shabads would always have words like – Husband & Wife – Husband Lord & Soul Bride – and the messages were always PERFECT – I would have a question in mind and these Shabads would provide the answers for me.
So TRUE it is “What you seek is seeking you” – Rumi’s awareness – so PERFECT !
I thought to myself, if I could get myself learning more of these Conversations of Bani, maybe I could find the Secret to Happy Marriages…and change the perspectives of Society with respect to Marriage.
The shabads of SGGS provided the answers I was seeking – I see this as God’s Blessings guiding me on the Path of my Dreams – I often said to myself – “God is helping me fulfil my DREAM, I must seek more of this Wisdom” but how – a language barrier was to be crossed 😦
However as they say, a Will finds a Way, and after a long wait, and hesitation, I asked a Sikh (who was a Sewak at the Gurdwara – A Sikh Temple ) to guide me further in the understanding of Sikhism.
Guidance led to more wonders and as I delved deeper into the Sikhi Scriptures I was gifted the Fabulous connect of Beautiful Brides and their Husband Lord. I was introduced to a totally new concept of Souls.
In Sikhism all human beings, whether male or female are equated to the SOUL BRIDES and the HUSBAND LORD can ONLY be Akaal Purakh (GOD) – The concept was adapted from Sufi Tradition, where it was believed that all souls are the brides of God. God is the one and only groom.
My curiosity directed me to many more learnings – I still remember the very first one being by Guru Amar Dass ji – The Third Sikh Guru. Guru ji has beautifully described the Relation between a Husband and Wife in one of his Shabad on Ang 788 of SGGS
Dhan pir ayhi na aakhee-an bahan ikthay ho-ay.
They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together.
ayk jot du-ay moortee Dhan pir kahee-ai so-ay. ||3||
They alone are called husband and wife, who have one light in two bodies. ||3||
I was overwhelmed upon learning this Connect associated with Husband & Wife – A New Connect was rooted in my awareness – An inequality exists in our Society, expecting women to consider her husband to be GOD – and putting him on a higher pedestal got erased with this connect – I was gifted my FIRST ANCHOR – Marriage denotes Equality of Souls.
As my association with Sikhism continues, I realized that the entire Bani talks about strengthening the relationship between a Soul Bride and her Husband Lord…and as one gets going on this path – Life unfolds many new miracles for the Soul. Upon further understanding, I came to know yet another Beautiful Association of Marriage.
In Sikh Communities, Marriage is not merely a Society Norm to follow – It is also not merely a relation between two families – in fact – Sikhs believe that Marriage is a SACRED UNION between two souls centered around the Guru.
The Sikhs believe that Marriage is the coming together of TWO SOULS who help each other fulfil the Purpose of Life, which is “Merger with the True Lord” – Each partner assists in understanding Waheguru and achieving Spiritual Enlightenment.
A “WOW MOMENT” it was for ME to learn that Marriage was a Path to Spirituality !
The need to be a GOOD WIFE directed me towards Guru Nanak’s Philosophies and Viola – I found myself an Extraordinary Connect to LIFE – A remarkable way to LIVE this Beautiful Human Life and also fulfil a Soul’s Mission of Merger with God … All the DOTS were now READY to CONNECT 🙂
God graced me with a path of not only how to become an excellent life partner to my husband but also how to be an excellent Soul Bride to my Husband Lord – Akal Purakh…How Precious is this GIFT !
I would like to share with you a fabulous Learning from the SGGS – one that can help us achieve our Goal of Becoming a Beautiful Bride who is loved by her Husband Lord – It is called the Gunvanti Bani – written by Guru Arjan Dev.
Gunvanti signifies a Worthy and Virtuous Bride – One who is filled with Merits – Such a soul seeks Perfection within SELF and works towards being a Worthy Soul. The Gunvanti Bani shares with the reader the Attributes and Attitudes of Worthy and Virtuous women towards their Husband (God). The Bani can be read on Ang 763 of SGGS – Do take time to read it – You will THANK YOURSELF ❤
Guru’s Bani gifted me the confidence that Marriages can be Miraculously Beautiful when Guru is at the Core of these two Life Partners BONDED in UNION.
With personal experience, I confidently say that my Journey of learning the teaching from SGGS has been filled with rewards – Always & Forever – Every Shabad offers an insight upon how a Husband – Wife should work towards a Healthy & Fruitful Relation…The connects help strengthen the Relationship between Married Partners, teaching them the Art to live a Blissfully Wedded Life…
“Moment of Reflection”
Time and again, we find ourselves getting pulled in some direction and then all of a sudden LIFE CHANGES…the never so visited trails become a constant part of our travel and we find ourselves feeling just awesome – The mind wonders at the chances – Serendipity forces us to have a conversation with Self and we find ourselves reflecting, expressing gratitude and love for LIFE – Being a Good Wife was my GOAL – The journey I had always wanted to travel – Didn’t know it would get initiated in this Unique way…I offer my Gratitude to God, and also seek HIS Support and Protection to keep me Forever grounded in my Journey towards HIM.
Gratitude to God for the Perfect Guidance ❤
Journeys & Reflections 